Some Pickles Are Made For Eating.

Not all pickles are created equal. Some are good for salads, some are great for fucking in the absence of a dildo and others are awesome salted.

This is a proven, time tested pickling recipe that I use all the time.  You will get crispy, gently salted pickles in about 24-36 hours.

You need to experiment with salt when you make them. If you want them ready faster – say in 12-24 hours – perhaps add more salt.

Carbonated water makes the pickles crispy. They look fresh and tasty as a proper pickle should taste and feel when you bite it.
Vodka helps with making pickles extra crispy. It can be skipped but I like to add it. Everything is better with vodka.

Note that pickles get saltier with time. So the longer you keep them in the jar the saltier they will become which doesn’t mean they will turn bad – just your middle aged mistress – they will lose crispiness but gain in complexity and taste.

Enjoy with vodka, salo and black bread.
Goes well with pretty much any dish as a condiment.

My favorite one is to wake her up to a breakfast in bed and serve few thin slices on a side.

Also, the brine is a great hangover cure. Do not discard it. Drink it in the morning after overindulging and feel better almost instantly.